As a lot of people are now taking it upon themselves to unlearn and uncondition their minds of racist systems, it’s also important to deep dive into the other less publicized disturbing nuances of the Black experience.
Understanding the Black man through the eyes of the media’s exploitation and fetishization is one. The history behind it all. There’s a whole lot to unlearn.
Hung by Scott Paulson Bryant is one of my favorite books. It came out years ago. A double entendre for being well hung and being hung from trees. The book tackles the issue of Black Mens dick size and how society and media has historically equated that to their worth. The down side. It more or less deals with race through this particular issue. It explores everything from Emmitt Till to the film Mandingo.
Kanye’s campaign meltdown kind of brought me back to this book, more particularly how I am side eyeing The Kardashian’s. I have been for years, but now that the chips are down for Mr. West I’m brought to a place of really trying to unpack their thinking and mentality as it pertains to Black men. More than I’ve ever cared to. It always seemed odd but I never really thought as much about it until yesterday.
A majority of people were commenting that Kanye didn’t have any friends. Where are his friends folks kept asking. Which is, again odd because he married into a huge and very public family. None of who’s members were present during his huge and very public meltdown.
Hung came to mind for me. There’s a clearly a pattern here with these women.
But beyond the pattern, for me there’s a realization.
You start to realize that in these elite circles of Black fishers and LA/worldwide baller culture there is very little concept of Black men as...... actual men! Humans outside of fetish, tropes and stereotyped common niggatries. Outside of popularity, high visibility and success.
It’s this specific type of Black man that validates something within these women though. This is all they want. You’ll never catch these types with a suited up low profile academic or Black tech business man type. It’s the most egregious depiction of Black American male star. I always found this so peculiar. Peculiar and disingenuous. I don’t mean to place blame here, perhaps it’s an even exchange.
But as one of my friends stated quite simply “they don’t want black men, they want niggas.”
But the question is, can they even handle these niggas? Because when I see how The Kardashian’s have handled this Kanye drama over the years—how detached and ill equipped they come across I come back to this understanding.
A lot of these women didn’t grow up with Black men and probably didn’t know many Black boys. Black boyhood and community issues are altogether completely lost on them.
They simply just show up years later packaged as trophies when these men are already made and ready! Seemingly...... ready.
They then have no idea what to do when that inner black boy shows up and comes knocking with all his traumas and unresolved issues. How to quiet him down. And I’m not saying anyone else does or should. Black women have carried the burden of being the community’s mules for far too long. Being called bitter for even pointing out some of these discrepancies.
But it’s uncomfortable to watch. The disconnection becomes very clear.
It’s crystal clear to me.
It’s sad and unsettling.
